In case anyone has the illusion that the owner of a preschool has the answer to every child and family question, and that her own family skips through fields of lavender giggling each weekend, let me be the first to tell you that's not the case.
This year, one goal I have for my family is to find more time to be with one another in a positive way. My kids are now 10 1/2, 7, and 4 1/2. They have responsibilities at home. They can do a lot for themselves--actually, it's amazing what they can do. My husband and I still do a lot for them, too, willingly. We don't have chore charts, though our chores and routines are well known to the children. There's no allowance, as I think that doing your part in the family should come from a benevolent place, not just to get a five dollar bill. That may change some day, but for now that's my stance.
This morning, after a rainy, cold week, my kids certainly had a bit of cabin fever. They fought, they pinched, they laughed, they cried, "he" hit his sisters with a stick, "she" raced to spite her sister by turning off the tv first, the other "she" pretended she couldn't put on her clothes though she makes a mean cup of coffee and can expertly scramble six eggs. My cabin fever met their's, as well as a back yard to rid of puppy poop, and a husband who had a couple hours of work to do... I'm sorry to say it was a recipe for disaster.
No going to pick out paint for my daughter's bedroom, no making rice crispy treats, no reading library books for as long as they wanted me to. All of my plans for us were suddenly destroyed by my desire not to fight my way through it.
Maybe I failed, but I had no patience left. No time to explain why I made what I did for breakfast. No time to discuss again why some people eat rabbits. No time to convince them that they were going to crack their heads open jumping from the furniture to the concrete floors. (Did I mention that my four year old son tried his hand at shaving yesterday with me just steps away? I am a bit rattled.)
So, I called my mom. I told her I couldn't take care of my kids today, if she and my dad didn't have plans and could help me out. I dropped them off after a tearful discussion about what kind of mom I want to be to them when we are together. I told them to make a plan for how to pick up their dog's poop diligently and that if they could just keep their rooms relatively clean, we would have more time for the good stuff. The happy times.
I miss them and they are fine. I am, too. Maybe we all just needed space. Maybe I need to do this more often instead of trudging through the hard times trying to make it "fun".
~Leslie
