Last night at dinner, my girls asked about war again. My husband and I have delicately explained "war" on several occasions when the children have asked. They aren't allowed to watch violent images on TV or in movies, so I would assume most of their notion of "war" is an image they have created in their minds. War, no matter how we carry on in our daily lives, does seep into even the lives of children. For my seven year old daughter, that was through a project that a friend presented yesterday at school. I don't want to completely shelter my children, but I don't want them to worry about things out of their control.
Wow--questions such as this can really take you back. Here's what my husband and I have shared with our children, maybe it will help you:
1. Sometimes people or countries fight when they can't reach a solution. It is always better to find a solution by talking with each other, just as you do with your friends and siblings.
2. You are safe. There is no war in our country right now.
3. Soldiers have an important job--to keep us safe. They also have to be away from their spouses and children for long periods of time. Imagine how much you would miss daddy or I if we had to be gone for six months or a year? We should be thankful that soldiers keep us safe and sacrifice time with their families for us.
4. (And, in response to my seven year old daughter's questions about babies and children getting hurt in wars, and adults crying) People get hurt in a war who aren't part of the war. It is a very sad thing, and when countries or people decide to fight in a war, they are also making a choice that affects innocent children, older people, and people who don't want to fight.
War . . . our country has been at war in Iraq since 3/20/03. No matter your views, I did reveal some of my feelings to my girls last night. I told them that I know mothers don't like war, ever. I don't think mothers, the people who worry about details like whether you chewed up your vitamin and have clean ears, can ever be OK with their kids being in a war. To all the mothers who have lost someone in the Iraq War, and on either side, I am sorry for your pain. I am selfishly sorry that I don't know if I could bare the pain that you have. I would have done anything to prevent "war" for your child.
